It's been a month+, but I'm back! Now blogging is a new way to procrastinate, as if I weren't good enough at it already. However, I have lots of thoughts recently and I think I should share more of God's everyday blessings.
The theme of my week has been God's faithfulness. I didn't pre-choose it, it just happened. I have been at CSU for 2 weeks and I was struggling. I don't think those struggles are necessarily over, but God is faithful. I was feeling insecure about living at home and searching for worth in the wrong places. It is weird being in Fort Collins and being home, but not having friends and not knowing everyone around me. During my first week of classes, I was so lonely and just terrified of making friends. My introversion mixed with my pride makes it so hard for me to put myself out there, but how else will I meet cool people? I also was feeling so anxious about whether or not to lead Young Life, and not necessarily feeling welcomed into that community.
I think one of the things I gained from this summer at Camp Timberline was the idea that we need to be in constant contact with God, trusting everything to Him. At the end of my first week, I went to nine70 at Timberline and we talked about the passage in John 4 about the woman at the well. This discussion led me to realize that my worth comes from God alone and He is all that will bring me fulfillment. And He calls me worthy!
Then this past week, I got connected with a small group through Young Life and immediately realized that God was answering my cries. I was finally feeling connected and that is when the theme of God's faithfulness became so evident. These friends included me in things all weekend...pancake breakfast, Tour de Fat, dinner and church in Boulder, and a beautiful hike today. What an answer to prayers!
The sermon on Saturday was about God's faithfulness...WHAT?? Crazy. He preached on Lamentations 3:21-24. I felt touched by the Lord as this related perfectly to my week. God's presence is so real.
So I obviously feel more included in the Young Life community now, and I am going on the Leadership Retreat next weekend at Crooked Creek. I also thought of an idea that put my worries at ease and made me think I will probably lead Young Life. More prayers answered.
On the hike up the mountain today, I had lots of time to think (because I was too out of breath to talk). I was thinking about people I know that have never gotten married and how that is a real fear of mine. I realize it sounds silly, but I am so excited to be married and be a mom. So I worry that God's plan may be different for me. God knows what is best for us, but He also knows the desires of our hearts. And I know that He is good. Because of this, I can trust in Him and look forward to the future. God is faithful!