Wednesday, October 9, 2013


I can't remember a time when I felt more nostalgic than I did Monday night.

My parents moved from the house that I've lived in since I was 6 years old. I've actually spent the majority of the last few years in other places, but it was still home. I struggled (and failed) to keep it together as I walked through my empty childhood home and hugged my parents and Olivia goodbye (even though I'll see them in a couple weeks). Then driving out of the neighborhood was one of the most bizarre, nostalgic, movie-like things I've ever experienced. The most random and even insignificant memories popped into my head as I drove down my street, by the pool, past the greenbelt and the tennis courts, and out of the neighborhood.

These are some of the people and moments I thought of last night:
  • Ashley & I used to try to go down the laundry chute, because that's every child's dream, and we'd get stuck about mid-butt. My friends and I would always send our Barbie's down the laundry chute, though, and that was just about as awesome as going down ourselves would've been. 
  • I used to come home from school, get a snack (usually popcorn and ranch or no-bake cookies), and watch Full House every day in elementary school. 
  • Back when our basement had hard orange/brown carpet from the 70's, we used to drag out the air mattresses and sleeping bags for sleepovers almost every Friday. On Saturday morning we would roll up the sleeping bags, get dressed in our red and white reversible mesh jerseys and head to our soccer games. 
  • Our front yard was the perfect place for sprinkler running, water balloon fighting, and leaf pile jumping. Matthew and his friends also thought it was perfect for airsoft shooting and snowball pelting.
  • The driveway is where I got freakin' good with my Skip-It. It's where Brian would tie up my Cinco de Mayo birthday piƱata and where we played hours of Around the World, PIG, Bump, and 21. I got so good at adjusting my shot to the bent rim of our driveway hoop that I screwed over any chance at a future basketball career. 
  • Olivia and I used to spend so much time at the neighborhood pool in the summertime that our swimsuits would be stretched thin, our eyes would be bloodshot, Olivia's skin would be dry and ashy, and my hair would be green from the chlorine. Those were the days.
  • Taylor and I used to play at the greenbelt while her parents played tennis and, even though we were 3 minutes from each of our houses, we would go to the bathroom under the giant pine-trees by the creek because that's more fun. 
I like giving myself permission to reflect on the sweet moments of the past. That's why I love pictures and scrapbooks and blogs...they let us go back and feel blessed all over again by the sweet things we've experienced. The future can seem f-ing scary, but it's also full of excitement and joy and adventure. Thinking about it brings me equal feelings of wanting to crawl under the covers and cry, and wanting to run out into the world with a go-get-'em fist in the air...not always at the same time, but sometimes. But today I will choose joy in the graciousness of uncertainty.

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